fuck i only have 151 hours left on this i better charge it quick
some flowers just arrived for my sister but my mom thought they were for me.
and so she asked if they were from henry and of course i asked what the hell she was talking about
and she was like “henry, the boy you’re always talking about.”
she meant henry david thoreau.
i quote henry david thoreau so much my mom thought henry david thoreau was my boyfriend
Did you know that in Australia it’s five times more likely that you’ll pick a partner based on humour rather than looks so if you’re ugly but a hilarious motherfucker then you’re almost guaranteed love
yea but have u ever seen an ugly australian
i am waiting for an ugly australian to add their selfie to this post pls do it is beckoning you to tumblr fame
seeing your reflection when watching tv :/
the fact you cannot see the camera is stressing me out like how the fuck did you take that
Sometimes, I wish I could ban my students from saying the word “gay” unless we’re specifically talking about homosexual people. Today one kid said that the ceiling was gay. Ceiling can’t be gay. Ceiling can’t even be straight. Ceiling is ceiling. Ceiling’s sexual preference is light bulb.
“It is true I chose not to feel anything upon realizing my own life was ending. As Admiral Pike was dying, I joined with his consciousness and experienced what he felt at the moment of his passing: anger, confusion, loneliness, fear. I had experienced those feelings before, multiplied exponentially, on the day my planet was destroyed. Such a feeling is one I choose never to experience again.”
Taking Sherlock quotes out of context is almost as fun as doing it with Supernatural.
there is no way to say “have a nice life” without sounding like a sarcastic prick and this really bothers me